I know it's only been a few days since my last journal. And I had a big falling out with AOB but, that was to be expected because I was um... well, I was deliberately messing with her for my own benifit.

Now, don't judge me until you know the full story. It goes like this; I have never been able to accept someone I cannot trust and/or view to be a scum bag. Now... Charlie fits right into that. He always has and no matter how many times I've tried to give him that benifit of a doubt it's always blown up in my face. This is after knowing him for roughly 10 years. He hasn't changed except for the worse and he hasn't proven himself to likely advance into being a human being. AOB on the other hand I've always had a huge amount of respect for her, I still do. But soon as she started dating Charlie she started to change for what I view as not the better. Despite being well trusted friends for over six years I did -not- hold the benifit of the doubt with her. I did -not- get a chance to mend our relationship to being stress free because I can-not- trust Charlie. AOB believes full heartedly I can be her friend without Charlie being in my life. Which cannot happen because she only would come over to "visit" if Charlie was here. Everything she did that involved me involved Charlie as well. Thus why our conversations and such would go to him and thus into arguments since I have such issues with him. It continued to escolate until I was having bad chest pains and when brought to my doctor's attention she quickly instructed me thus "cut out the main stresses in your life, if you don't you -will- have a heart attach". Why would I? Because of the stress I was having over my most trusted friend dating a man with the value of snot filled loogie. I have tried to explain things with her before, but every time it launched into some other subject and me ending up as the bad guy and "why can't you get along" questions. I tried, she's tried, and no matter what we did we couldn't get around this. My beliefs being so different from hers, I suppose, is the key thing. Either way it got to the point where every day I was having a chest pain and I had to end it. Thus why my last journal was so terrible. I stress that I do not hate AOB. I still value her very much, but I must admit my opinion of her had... deluded a little due to some troubles she was having with me and my love interest. I wanted to say that if someone who reads this journal is AOB's companion or friend, please continue to be so. I have no interest in trying to sabitague her other relationships, or going around and calling her the devil and such. She is a good friend if you can just get around the wall of "Charlie".

Now then, after my falling out with AOB, all that stress was gone (after a day or so of feeling like the biggest jerk alive). I haven't had a chest pain about it, no one in my house has talked about how they disapprove of their relationship. Everything just... felt better. I'm just grateful that AOB had friends to comfort her when she needed it, and I had mine (mainly my fiancee).

I'm hoping that soon I can start working on projects again now that a lot of stress is out of the way and not causing artist/writer's block.